Friday, April 27, 2012

do what you like; like what you do

7 a.m. this morning and I am making my cup of joe. I reach into the cabinet and grab the nearest coffee mug. It is a ceramic blue mug with this quote "Do what you like, like what you do." The mug is from the Life Is Good brand, given to me from my mom this past Christmas.  This was post break-up for me, and she was trying to show me how to start living my life. I had been in a relationship for four years and had no idea how to live by myself and just be me, not my fiance and I. I was going days with no sleep, drinking constantly and did not give a fuck about a single thing. I knew the break-up was the right thing to do, but still could not come to terms that we were done. Finished. Over.

watching my daily struggle, my mom knew not to preach. She knew I would blow her off and say that I was "fine," when I really wasn't. Christmas morning came and I opened the boxed mug and read the quote. Once. Twice. Three times, before looking up to see her reaction. You know the motherly smile? Where their eyes are almost tearing up, you can see their laugh lines but also the look of concern in their eyes? She gave me that smile, and I was the one about to begin crying. Flash forward to this morning: I am getting my coffee, barely paying attention to what I'm doing and I glance at the quote. BOOM. Instant impact. "Do what you like, like what you do." Am I doing what I like right now?
well kids, let us take a look. I am working 40 plus hours a week. Is this what I like to do? Yeah, it actually is. Working this much keeps me busy, which keeps my mind busy, which keeps me from wondering off into la la land and thinking too much about the past few months. Working also makes it possible to live on my own. My total amount of bills with my apartment, utilities and car payment is not a pretty number. Now lets add gas, food, shopping sprees and other fun spendables. Working as much as I do allows me to live a nice life and not stress too much about finances.
now those who know me right now know I cannot stand school. I am in my third semester at IUPUI and still have not found my niche. I cannot decide on a career path or even a major right now. So I am transferring to Ivy Tech next fall. This is where the quote comes into play. I do not like going to IUPUI and I do not care for my class choices. Therefore I changed it. I applied to another school, met with an amazing counselor and picked out a great class schedule starting next August.
i can go on and on about what I am doing right now that I like. I am starting to come out from hiding in my apartment everyday, which is a huge step since February 5th. I have some amazing friends that I work with, a few in particular who see to it that I go out. I am starting back up at the gym as much as my schedule will allow. I cook dinner with one of my best friends at least twice a week and share everything with her. I am also very close to my ex's family, which does wonders when I get my weekly dosage of them. Talk about amazing people, who always can put a smile on your face. We cook, watch movies, go out to eat and even run to the tanning salon together. I feel like I have my family back when I am out there, and I know it makes a difference in my outlook on things. I am constantly decorating my apartment, which is a new thing for me. I enjoy walking through Pier 1 Imports and picking out a cute throw or colorful rug. My place is an array of colors and has no consistency- just like my life.
life isn't all good right now, but it is getting better. I won't bore you with my list of things that I do not like, but they are out there. This quote made me think about what I am doing and if I like it. There are many things I need to change about my life, things that I do not like. But when I write a "like" and "dislike" list, the like list is starting to grow and the dislikes is shrinking. I am finally getting to be comfortable in my own skin, finally coming out of my hiding spot and doing what I enjoy. My mom knew what she was doing when she picked out the mug, whether she knew the full impact it would have or not. If you are not happy with what you are doing or if you do not wake up with a smile, then something is wrong. Do what you like, like what you do. Because life is good, life is great, each day is a gift and you need to enjoy and explore your gift on a daily basis.
think about that next time you feel unhappy. Start looking for something you like, whether it be a good book, a dinner with friends, or heck even your job. Every day should bring you joy. Even if it is the simple joys like a treat from Starbucks, an A plus on your paper or wearing your sexy skinny jeans. Try to find something you look forward to everyday, and begin to like what you do.
Until I write again friends, adios!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Welcome Friends

Hey there kids, fellow readers, friends...
today is the first day I am writing in this blog. Many may wonder what the point is... and the answer to that is simplistic and straight to the point: I don't know. I am not an open person when it comes to my inner thoughts and feelings. Many say they can read me like a book. Some are right, but others are so far off from what is really going through my mind. I am a habitual facebook and twitter junkie, but the media is for social reasons. I post pictures, check into fun places and update my status constantly... but it never just about what I am thinking. It takes a lot for me to come out of my shell and I am hoping this blog will be the beginning of it.
my problem is...I don't trust people and I do not let others into my life easily. Now this isn't a pity post, I want no pity and cannot stand people who do. I stick to myself and prefer loneliness for a reason, though it can be too lonely at times. I moved out of my parent's house at the age of 18, still in high school. The reason was for a guy, someone who I thought was the one. Yes there was an age difference and I lost a lot over it. The thing is, I thought it was meant to be. Life was rough, but we spent three great years together. This past December I called quits. I broke up, I quit. I didn't look back either...although I wanted to. After a few months without communication, a member of his family called to tell me he had suffered a massive heart attack and didn't make it. He didn't make it and I still cannot seem to come to terms with that. The guilt is unreal. It is a painful feeling I wish upon no one. It been almost 3 months [February 5th] and I still feel like I did it.
the solution is... after several painful nights and crying sessions that leave me exhausted, I caved and started speaking to a counselor. I cannot tell if this is helping me or not, but it is better than doing nothing about it and living like I have been. She is the one who suggested I start this blog and wants weekly updates. Some of you may find it incredibly boring. I know I do. My life is nothing fascinating, nor does it have bragging rights. I will sometimes write about work, school, my friends, family, anything I feel like. Some may be about him, but the goal is to keep them to a very minimum. This is supposed to help me move on and start living life again. So this is the view from up top. What I see, think, feel, about my life and my surroundings. Enjoy!
so here we go... my name is Sarah Foist and I was born 21 years ago. I am taking classes at IUPUI downtown and plan on transferring to Ivy Tech next fall. I live on my own and am a proud momma of an adorable kitty cat. My favorite color is purple. I love plain jane clothing, like simple tee shirts, flats and a cute pair of jeans. I live/work at Cracker Barrel as a full time server and absolutely love it [not]. Single is my relationship status, and I plan on keeping it that way for a while. My schedule is hectic with school, work, family and friends. I do enjoy my down time though and am one of the few youngsters out there who like to be alone some days. I love decorating my apartment and going on long runs to relieve stress. I am a chocoholic, a movie/tv show fanatic and could spend hours curled up with a good book.
and that my friends, is only the beginning.