today is the first day I am writing in this blog. Many may wonder what the point is... and the answer to that is simplistic and straight to the point: I don't know. I am not an open person when it comes to my inner thoughts and feelings. Many say they can read me like a book. Some are right, but others are so far off from what is really going through my mind. I am a habitual facebook and twitter junkie, but the media is for
my problem is...I don't trust people and I do not let others into my life easily. Now this isn't a pity post, I want no pity and cannot stand people who do. I stick to myself and prefer loneliness for a reason, though it can be too lonely at times. I moved out of my parent's house at the age of 18, still in high school. The reason was for a guy, someone who I thought was the one. Yes there was an age difference and I lost a lot over it. The thing is, I thought it was meant to be. Life was rough, but we spent three great years together. This past December I called quits. I broke up, I quit. I didn't look back either...although I wanted to. After a few months without communication, a member of his family called to tell me he had suffered a massive heart attack and didn't make it. He didn't make it and I still cannot seem to come to terms with that. The guilt is unreal. It is a painful feeling I wish upon no one. It been almost 3 months [February 5th] and I still feel like I did it.
the solution is... after several painful nights and crying sessions that leave me exhausted, I caved and started speaking to a counselor. I cannot tell if this is helping me or not, but it is better than doing nothing about it and living like I have been. She is the one who suggested I start this blog and wants weekly updates. Some of you may find it incredibly boring. I know I do. My life is nothing fascinating, nor does it have bragging rights. I will sometimes write about work, school, my friends, family, anything I feel like. Some may be about him, but the goal is to keep them to a very minimum. This is supposed to help me move on and start living life again. So this is the view from up top. What I see, think, feel, about my life and my surroundings. Enjoy!
so here we go... my name is Sarah Foist and I was born 21 years ago. I am taking classes at IUPUI downtown and plan on transferring to Ivy Tech next fall. I live on my own and am a proud momma of an adorable kitty cat. My favorite color is purple. I love plain jane clothing, like simple tee shirts, flats and a cute pair of jeans. I live/work at Cracker Barrel as a full time server and absolutely love it [not]. Single is my relationship status, and I plan on keeping it that way for a while. My schedule is hectic with school, work, family and friends. I do enjoy my down time though and am one of the few youngsters out there who like to be alone some days. I love decorating my apartment and going on long runs to relieve stress. I am a chocoholic, a movie/tv show fanatic and could spend hours curled up with a good book.
and that my friends, is only the beginning.