Tuesday, June 5, 2012

lonely times, say what?

I must say, sometimes I forget about this handy little blog. Life has been overwhelmingly busy these past few weeks. I have been a crazy busy bee, and have not had much time to myself. I know it seems weird to many of you. Sarah? That girl? The weirdo who would rather chill at home then go out day after day? Yeah, that's me, that's the girl. Or was the girl.

I believe it started when I got back from my trip to Missouri. To my fellow readers, you may recall how excited I was when I walked through the doors at Cracker Barrel after being gone for a week. The hello's, we've missed you's, and the excitement of feeling back at home. I realized part of my excitement was from hanging out with people all week. At Jordan's place in Missouri, there were friendly faces everywhere and always something to do. I was constantly surrounded by good friends and had no time to myself. At first I thought I would not care too much for the constant traffic flow and no down time. But once coming home and going to bed in my lonely apartment I realized how boring it was. And how much I missed interaction with people.

Ok, now I'm not a freak. I worked almost every day and went to school and saw my family. I didn't hole up every day all day in my apartment. But I also did not venture out unless I had to. I am shy by nature, too shy in my mind. I get uncomfortable around strangers and crowds. I didn't use to be like this, and am not sure how it got to this place. Actually, I do but won't go into it right now. Anywho, I was not one to go out with friends, plan a shopping spree or do dinner with others. I craved my alone time and always came up with an excuse to flake on people and plans we had made. Well, I gotta say that no longer happens. I am NEVER home. In fact, the only reason I am writing this right now is because I am legit sick with flu-like symptoms and was forced to cancel dinner plans for the evening. :(

I can honestly say these past few weeks have been better therapy than any shrink. No offense to mine, she is a great person who has helped me a lot. But I notice my laughter comes more easily than before,  I am not too shy to speak in front of a small group of people and I don't care to be at home all of the time. It feels weird and terribly quiet even with the TV or my Ipod on for background noise. I have become a more open person and no longer hide my thoughts and feelings from everyone. I still don't trust many people and have a hard time talking to certain people. But I feel like my life is more of an open book for others to look through and wonder and want to get to know me.

I do not crave the lonely times anymore and find them positively boring.  To those of you out there who find comfort in their computers, television and bottle of Jack: take note. It is no way to lead your life. You HAVE to get back out there no matter what has backed you into your hole. Friendships mean everything and do not come and go once you grab hold of the right ones. Family always comes first no matter what. They know you as well as you know yourself, sometimes even better. They will always be there for you whether you are flipping burgers, running a fortune 500 company or "finding" yourself. They have been there since day 1 and will continually be there whether you want them or not.
So get out there friends. Make dinner plans with someone you lost contact with, blow money on a cute outfit to where during a downtown shopping day with a girlfriend, or make a popcorn and movie date for this Friday night. Being surrounded by friends and family can really change a person and their outlook on life. I recommend it, from first hand experience. It has changed my life for the better. In a matter of weeks I have noticed a difference and you can too! The best part? It is FUN!!

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